Back in Boston

Much to our amazement, we didn't have to pay a penny in extra baggage fees, even though we had twice the allowed amount (and my back still hurts). I'm not sure if it was because Dan spoke to the check-in guy in Serbian, because I smiled cutely, or just because the guy was too stunned by how much baggage we had to think about charging us. At any rate, we're home with all our stuff and we didn't have to clean out the bank account to make it happen.

Since we got back we've been hanging out with family and friends, and I've been talking a lot. It really is great to be back around English all the time, to be able to make small talk with the grocery clerk or whatever. I think in some ways (despite all my English-speaking friends) I became slightly mute over the past ten months. It's very freeing to be back around my native language.

For those of you wondering about our first food indulgences, so far we've had Mexican, Japanese, American, and tonight we're going for Indian food with my dad.

The super-exciting news since our return is that I was awarded a fellowship for school, which means that my tuition is completely covered and I get a super job working on event programming and international programs. Doesn't that just sound like me?

So we're back and things are off to a fantastic start, although I already miss my gang of Serbian friends. Hello you guys!

Last Day

Today is our last full day in Serbia. We'll spend the day packing and visiting friends. Tomorrow morning we head back to Boston. Of course, I'm sad to leave behind my friends and the life we've made here. I still remember returning to Serbia from a trip to Budapest and sighing with relief at the sounds of Serbian. I like that for a short time a language other than my own meant "home."

I'm also excited to get to Boston, see my family and friends, and get started with graduate school. Also looking forward to baseball and asian food.

Leaving Serbia does not mean the end of blogging, at least not right away. I'll keep it up when I get home to talk about reverse culture shock and all the weird things that happen to me in the States.

Serbian Wedding, Part II: The Bride's House

As soon as we arrived and got out of the cars, the accordions started up (of course).

When the groom's party arrives at the bride's house, there is a tradition that the groom must shoot an apple placed somewhere in the yard by the bride's family before being allowed inside. Sometimes they put it in a tricky spot, like on top of the house or up in a tree (how difficult the shot is supposedly relates to how much the bride's family likes the groom). In this case, there was no apple - the groom simply greeted the bride's family at the gate, and they let us in.

We followed the garden path conga line-style, getting pinned with corsages on the way. The line wound its way up to the balcony, where we were once again offered drinks (vino, pivo, rakija?) and pečenje (roasted meat). At this point the bride's brother and the groom's brother began negotiating the price of the bride.

That's right, we were there to buy the bride. While this was once a serious transaction, it's now done very much in the spirit of tradition and good fun. The negotiations were heated, with much waving around of money and arguing, and at one point the groom's brother pretended to walk away, saying "She's too expensive. Let's go." They were all trying really hard to keep straight faces. I just laughed and laughed.

Throughout the negations, the bride was kept inside the house. I've heard that sometimes the groom will arrange with the bride in advance to "steal" her. While the groom is distracting the family, his friends sneak around back and take the bride. In this case, the groom was honest and paid up. The first offer was for 10 euros, and the last offer I heard was for 40 or 50 euros, but I didn't hear the final price they settled on. Once they came to an agreement, the bride was produced and there was much drinking, celebrating, and ooh ahhing over how beautiful she looked. Gifts were exchanged (including jewelry for the bride from the groom's mother and sister) and the groom shot off a full clip into the air (and later his mother would do the same). Does anyone have statistics on wedding day tragedies resulting from celebratory gun shooting gone wrong?

We sat for a while drinking and eating (Dan and I were pleased to discover that many people spoke English) before climbing back into the cars and heading to the opština (city hall) for the first of two ceremonies. It was 11:30 AM, we were already full of roasted meat and home made liquor, and we still had 12 hours of wedding ahead of us.

From here I'm going to throw the ball into Dan's court - he was there too and he should get to write about it. So you can read about the ceremonies and the reception at The Native Speaker, although maybe not until after Wednesday.

I love The Onion

It's great to see that the US is caught up in World Cup fever this year (hah!).

I was showing this piece to a friend in Serbia, and I had to explain the joke.

Pause

Ok, so you'll have to wait a week for the rest of the wedding saga. We leave today for our tango vacation in Croatia. After that, we only have one more week in Serbia!

See you soon in Boston.

Serbian Wedding, Part I: The Groom's House

One question that has come up with surprising frequency over the past year is "Have you been to a Serbian wedding yet?"

While none of our friends were willing to get married just so we could attend a wedding, our friend Milos did get us invited to his friend’s wedding, so I can now answer "Yes." And also "Wow!" Yesterday we spent about 15 hours at wedding-related activities. For blogging purposes, I'm going to break it up into four parts: The Groom's House, The Bride's House, The Ceremonies, and The Reception.

We arrived at the groom's apartment around 9 AM. There were hors d'oevres, drinks (vino, pivo, rakija?), and snacks for us while we waited for everyone to arrive. Also, there were two guys with accordions to get us in the partying spirit (as if we needed anything more than the rakija). From what I can tell, this part of the day is really about immediate family and close friends; we were invited along so we could see how the whole thing works.

Once everyone was assembled, the groom was ready, and all necessary pictures were taken, we headed down the stairs and out to the cars, parade-style, with the accordions in the lead (I think this was around 10 AM, and I’m sure we woke the neighbors). As we were walking out of the apartment, we noticed that the groom was packin' - a handgun in a shoulder holster. I've often heard shots going off on Sunday mornings from wedding parties, but until I saw the holster I had forgotten about this detail.

I understand that in villages the groom's family traditionally walks over to the bride's house (music all the way, of course). In this case, the groom lives in the city and the bride is from a village, so we had a caravan of cars, all decorated with bows and flowers. As we were waiting to pile into the cars, we had our first dance of the day - the groom's mother, sister, and best woman (kum in Serbian, more on this later) got together for a quick line dance, or kolo. I could tell it was going to be a good day.

Goulash Cook-Off

Last Sunday, Kragujevac had its annual goulash cook-off down by the lake. Naturally, this wasn't something we could miss.

It started at noon, and we arrived around 2 to the tantalizing smell of simmering goulash (and the sight of at least a dozen people dressed in traditional Serbian garb). There were about 30 contestants, including a team from the fire department, and each had set up a metal tripod over a fire. The stew pot hangs on a chain from the top of the tripod. Everyone was mixing and stirring, the goulash was bubbling away, and it all looked delicious.

Unfortunately, nothing was ready to taste when we arrived, so we had lunch at the restaurant next to the lake. I figure the restaurant sponsors the competition - all those yummy smells next door must drum up business.

After lunch we walked around the lake (in the process we found the local lovers' lane - identifiable by the scattering of condom wrappers) and had another look in all the stew pots. We saw people lining up for stew at the firemen's station and we went to see if we could get some. We didn't realize it was a BYOB event (bring your own bowl) so Dan went to the beer stand and got two plastic cups. The goulash was delicious, and the cups were just strong enough to withstand the heat without melting, although it was tough on our fingertips.

A friend joined us in the late afternoon to hear the band (a local group that covers rock standards). We sat and rocked out until the concert was interrupted by a huge fight. A group of guys were hitting and kicking one guy (even when he was down), really pounding on him. I don't know what started it, but most people had been drinking all afternoon. It was shocking for me - it was the first time I've seen people trying to harm each other in earnest. When it became clear that people were joining the fight instead of breaking it up, we moved on for some frisbee.

It was a beautiful, sunny day to spend down by the lake, enjoying some local fare, although by the end we were a bit dazed by the sun. Nothing a few cocktails at Buena Vista couldn't fix, though.

A Serbian Perspective

For my US readers who may be wondering what Serbians really think about the whole referendum thing, Bg Anon, a new contributor to Belgrade Blog, has posted his views on the Montenegrin referendum.

Of course, there are other opinions, but most of the people I've spoken with have had very similar takes on the situation.

Change of address

Unofficial results are showing that yesterday Montenegrins voted (by a very narrow margin) to dissolve the union with Serbia. As far as I can tell, today is business as usual here in Kragujevac. Over the past week I asked many Serbs for their opinions and predictions of the referendum, and I can sum up the overall response with one big shoulder shrug.

I was watching the weather report on CNN this morning, and I noticed they hadn’t yet added the new border to their map of Eastern Europe. I wonder how long that will take.

The countdown is on

We've been busy over the last few weeks completing projects and attending conferences, many of which have long been symbols of the end of our stay in Serbia. The only big thing we have left is our tango vacation.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm impatiently counting down the days until we leave Serbia (because I'm not), but the fact is that today is May 21 and our return tickets to Boston are for June 21. So one more month of fun and games in the Balkans.

Last weekend Dan had the ELTA conference in Belgrade; since hotel accommodations were included in his travel grant I tagged along and had a few days to enjoy our capital. Previous excursions to Belgrade have all be one day trips, and it's hard to really enjoy the city when you have to pay attention to catching the return bus and you have nowhere to leave your stuff or take a siesta.

So while poor Dan was stuck in conferences, I hit the town. The weather was lovely, so I spent an afternoon at the Belgrade zoo, which had a surprising variety of animals, although I have never before seen dogs displayed in a zoo. Some of the living conditions were sad (especially for the bears, I thought), but it is quite an old zoo. A lot of cages and concrete cells. Some rich investor should get involved so they can renovate.

I saw some other historical sites (I didn't make it to the Tesla museum, though. They have really bad hours.) but mostly spent my time exploring on foot. As much as I've enjoyed my year in Kragujevac, I'm sad that we weren't stationed in Belgrade. It is an amazing city, with so much to do and explore. There's also a real vibrancy there. It seems there's always some random event popping up somewhere around the city, whether it's street performers or a dance competition or a rally to get people hyped up about the World Cup. Also, I saw these guys crowding the front of the Hotel Moskva, and at the time I had no idea what was going on.

On Friday night we went to the Indian restaurant, and both surprisingly (because we didn't know they would be there) and not surprisingly (because it's exactly the kind of place you'd expect to find them), we ran into a bunch of embassy staffers. They invited us to join them, and we had a great time kicking around our theories on Serbia and the US, and also eating a lot of great food and drinking quite a bit of wine.

The only down side to the weekend was that I sat in gum. Gross.

It Don't Mean a Thing...

Last Wednesday Dan and I taught a swing dance class at the American Corner. We had 10 couples, and everyone picked up the steps relatively quickly. Such fun!

The flying hair! The green sneakers!

Sveti Djordje

May 6th is the slava of the city of Kragujevac, so this past weekend was one big party.

On Friday we celebrated the first anniversary of the American Corner. At the party, we announced the winners of the creative writing contest and gave out prizes and awards. I was chatting with one of the winners, talking about Lemony Snicket (her prize was the box set of the first three books) and she asked how much Serbian I know. I said not much because my husband (pointing to Dan) learned so much faster than I did. She looked at me in surprise and said "He's your husband? He's so cute!" I don't think she was surprised that I have such a cute husband - I think she was disappointed to find out Dan is married. Nice to know he appeals to the 15 year old crowd.

After the party we went to a new bar with some friends. It specializes in beer, which means they have dark beer, which can be hard to find in K. We went there for the first time last weekend - the owner and I have a mutual friend who has been doing his best to promote the bar. Naturally, we wanted to do the same so we brought our other friends. It was neat to be the foreigner showing the locals a great new place. My favorite thing about this bar: the music isn't so loud that you have to shout to have a conversation. So you can actually sit and talk with your friends over a pint.

From there we went to watch the pre-concert fireworks. I have never been so close to fireworks - they seemed to be exploding towards us. And that's because they were. The parking lot we were standing in was just across the way from where the fireworks were being set off. Apparently the city had suggested that people not park their cars there to make sure they didn't get damaged. They didn't seem to think it was important enough to block the lot off to people. There were literally cinders coming down around us. It was great!

Following the fireworks there was a concert with a famous "stari grad" singer. "Stari grad" means "old town," and I think it's quite perfectly named. I thought it was good, but it wasn't music I would stand outside on a cold night to hear. I might play it while relaxing in the backyard with a book and an iced tea on a summer afternoon. So we listened to a few songs and turned in for the night. Our Serbian friends stayed to enjoy the concert; I think for many of them it's the music they grew up with and so there's sentimental attachment. Maybe if there had been chairs...

After a busy week of party planning and the resumption of Dan's classes, we were too worn out Saturday to get out and see much of the fun. We did go to a Mozart concert at the high school - we finally had an excuse to see the inside of the high school (it was the first one in Serbia, as any good Kragujevcan will tell you). It was beautiful... much nicer than NQHS. The hall the concert was in had statues of the trifecta of Serbian heroes - Vuk Karadzic, Saint Sava, and Milos Obrenovic (labelled, on the wall as "Milos Veliki," or Big Milos). I like the idea that they have representatives of intellectual, spiritual, and political/military greatness, instead of the usual George Washington you find in US classrooms.

I thought the concert was good, although Dan had a few minor complaints (he knows more about classical music than I do) and we were inspired to download a bunch of Mozart when we got home. Happy 250th birthday, Mozart!

Sunday we went out to investigate the newly-opened Srce ice cream parlor, one block over from the original. I felt a little like I was in Disney World - the atmosphere was reaching for a Viennese cake shop, or something like Gerbeaud in Budapest. A lot of thought had clearly gone into the decorations. The ice cream is just as delicious and there are two new cases full of pastry treats and cakes, so I can wholeheartedly (ah! it's a pun! get it? srce means "heart") endorse the new location, particularly the cherry tarts.

One of my favorite lazy Sunday afternoon pastimes is going down to city hall and watching the weddings. Everyone has to get married at city hall before going to church and / or party. The entire wedding party usual goes to the official ceremony, which means there are hordes of people, usually at least one trubaci band, and often a gang of Roma kids scrounging for money. This Sunday we saw three different wedding parties. Many people ask if we've gone to a Serbian wedding - it's supposed to be an unrivaled Serbian experince, replete with food, wine, dancing, rakia, and more food. Unfortunately, none of our friends seem ready to tie the knot, so the closest we've gotten is people-watching at city hall. One of these days we're going to crash someone's reception.

Istanbul (Not Constantinople)

Ok, I know that is perhaps the most obvious title I could have used for this post, but I couldn't resist. Who knows when I'll have another opportunity like this?

Dan and I recently returned from five and a half glorious days of exploring Istanbul. The weather was just about perfect, the sights were magnificent, I tangoed in my fourth country, and (unhappily) there were throngs of tourists. We saw eight of the top 10 recommended sights from our DK guidebook, and were brave enough to spend an afternoon in the hamam, instead of just peering through the door into the reception room. I highly recommend the hamam. It's very relaxing, a great break from the running around you do trying to fit in visits to all the Mosques and Ottoman palaces. And wow! Those Ottoman palaces.

Also, we had lunch in Asia, which is technically the fourth continent I've visited. Trying to settle on a restaurant is quite a challenge. Shopkeepers and restaurateurs compete ferociously for the business of tourists. Most stand in front of their shops to talk to people walking by, basically harrassing them into going inside. Being an American, and valuing personal space and the time to make a decision without feeling like I'm being hustled, this was more than a little off-putting. There were many times throughout the week when I felt like I was up for auction. But I have to say, some people really get inventive as they're trying to attract your attention. Here are some of the best pick-up lines we heard:

• Pretty lady...
• Hello, nice couple!
• This is a government place. Our place is over here!
• Where are you going? The Grand Bazaar is this way!
• Vous êtes français, oui?
• Muchas gracias! Are you Spanish?
• Can I help you spend your money?
• Try this, it's poison!
• My moustache is better! (We think he was referring to the guy who owned the shop across from his, not Dan, but who knows?)
  
• Your shoes, very dirty! (This from inumerable shoe-shiners, directed at Dan. And they were right, his shoes were very dirty.)

One thing I loved about Istanbul was the sense of entrepreneurship. All you need to start a business is a cart and something to sell. Here's a list of some of the great one-man roving shops we saw:

• Fruit Juice - This one is obviously intended for tourists because you see these guys mostly in the park between the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia. Worth mentioning all the same, especially since I can link to a picture.
  
• Cucumbers - Wheelbarrow, cucumbers, knife (for peeling), and salt. Voila, you're in business!
  
• Instant Lollipops - Different colors of what I assume is liquefied sugar, carefully twisted around a lollipop stick. So pretty, so bad for your teeth.
  
• Tea - The tea-sellers carry around trays loaded with glasses of hot tea. I assume they remember whom they sold it to and go back later to retrieve the cups. In touristy areas the tea-sellers have thermoses and plastic cups. Not nearly as fun.
  
• Corn - Boiled or roasted. Salt but, sadly, no butter.
• Shoe-Shiners - On almost every street corner. As I said above, they don't mind telling you how dirty you shoes are if it will bring them business.

We did visit two rug shops. Those of you who know us may be aware that we already fell prey to the rug salesman in Morocco, and we have three very beautiful carpets to show for it. We were wise this time, and we knew that we really weren't interested. So we were able to graciously accept the tea we were offered, look at the exquisite carpets, all the while being clear that we weren't interested in buying (of course, the salesman didn't believe us). Once they started talking numbers, we thanked them politely for showing us their beautiful merchandise and made a quick getaway. We are very proud of ourselves.

Of course, we did make a few purchases and we shipped them to my mom so we won't have to bring them home in June, when we're hauling all the stuff we brought for the entire year in Serbia. I never thought it would be so entertaining to watch two guys pack a box. They carefully packed our crate of "treasures from the Orient" and used an incredible liquid foam to fill the air pockets. There are two chemicals that mix when they shoot them out of the machine. When they mix, they expand and solidify, so it forms to the shape of our stuff. Wow!

Istanbul really is a stunning city, and there are many more things I could go on about. But I have to leave some things for Dan to write about, such as the Italian uniform, guidelines for tourists, Turkish hospitality, and our favorite moment of sightseeing.

While you're waiting for our Istanbul stories

We just got back from our adventure in Istanbul, and we're still getting our thoughts in order for blogging. In the meantime, here are a few things worth checking out:

Slate's Fred Kaplan on exporting more of American culture than The OC and tanks.

Two Chinese Boys. Funniest thing I've seen in ages.

New ads for Dunkin' Donuts. Music by They Might Be Giants.

Water, water, everywhere...

In case you guys over in the States haven't heard, the Balkans are pretty much under water at the moment (although not being situated on any of the major rivers, we are A-OK here in Kragujevac). The Danube has reached record levels, and the flooding is destroying houses and farmland throughout the region. When I was returning from Budapest last Monday, there were times when the water was less than a foot from the tracks on either side of the train.

On a lighter note, I wanted to share this picture that I found on the BBC website of an intrepid traveler in Belgrade.

Hey, look, I'm adjusting

While Dan has been busy blogging away over the past few days, I've been taking my mom around Serbia and Budapest. We had a great trip, and my mom did the work of the USPS by hauling lots of my favorite things across the ocean. Three cheers for Ginger Betty's ginger snaps! Also gingerbread cookies that look like the Serbian flag. Thank you mom!

It was interesting to watch someone having first impressions of Serbia - I've been here for eight months now, and everything seems more or less normal. Seeing through my mom's eyes, I remembered the things that seemed so strange to me when I first arrived. (The first picture she took was of the turkish toilet at the Belgrade bus station. I don't like them, but they don't surprise me anymore.)

One thing I realized is that I've learned to accept "Serbian Hospitality" graciously, without insisting on paying for things or making an overly big deal about thanking people, which is potentially embarrassing for the hospitality-giver. I'm pleased to have this new skill, as it's something I really struggled with in the beginning, although I don't know how it will serve me when I go back to the US.

I did my best to respect the traditions of Serbian hospitality and only let my mom pay for two dinners, and that was so she wouldn't be too anxious. (Of course, Serbian hospitality rules don't apply in Hungary.) It was super to see my mom, and it was cool to be the tour guide.

Road Trip

Yesterday our landlords took us on a road trip through central Serbia. We were in search of the Resava Monastery. Fortunately, the man we stopped for directions thought we were looking for a different monastery and told us entirely the wrong way to go.

The monastery the guy sent us to was smaller, but sometimes when you don't end up where you planned, you do end up exactly where you're supposed to be. We looked inside the church, then the nuns made us coffee and we sat and chatted with the head nun and she told us stories about her life. She had everyone in stitches when she told about the chicken that used to sit on her head and sing songs. I laugh every time I think of this 80-something nun, in her habit, with the big glasses, singing chicken songs. Sadly, it was eaten by a chicken hawk. We also saw the peacock that lives there, and he showed off for us, displaying his magnificent tail. What a useless bird! We bought some of the honey the nuns make (I didn't get too close to the bee hives) and then walked down a hill to the riverside where they have a watermill for making cornmeal. Nuns are so industrious.

We got back on the road, and, with new directions, were able to find the big monastery. It was surrounded by medieval castle walls, which was totally unexpected. The inside of the church was beautifully decorated with frescoes; unfortunately they sustained heavy water damage when the Turks stole the lead roof and all the rain came in. The very sweet nun Anastasia showed us around. I don't think many Americans come through.

Before going to lunch (everyone, from the nuns to our landlord's best-friend, who happened to call, recommended the restaurant next to the waterfall) we stopped at the Resavska Cave. We didn't know that it isn't open for the season until April 1st. Luckily, some tour group had made arrangements for it to be open yesterday and we were able to get in. Cica is a forge-ahead kind of lady, and when we got the cave entrance and found it locked, she located the key tucked under the fence, unlocked the door, and in we went. It was a beautiful cave, with some impressive features. It was nothing like the "wild tour" experience I had in Colorado, but it was lovely. We ran into the guide on our way out, and he was quite disturbed that we had gone through alone. I'm just glad he realized we were in there so he didn't turn out the lights.

We left the cave in a state of extreme hunger; Boban navigated the terrible roads as fast as he could to get us to the waterfall. As promised, the restaurant was situated next to a river, just downstream from a waterfall (any closer and we would have been hit by the spray). We sat for a while, waiting for our lunch to arrive, eyeing the bread on the tables around us. First course: fantastic bread, cucumbers, tomatoes, cabbage, kajmak, and cheese. Second course, roasted fish. Whole fish, with heads, tales, and scales. First time I have eaten fish that looked like fish. If you're skillful, when you finish eating, the remains really do look like the fish in the Tom & Jerry cartoons - head and tail, connected by spine. We loosened our belts and had palacinke with honey and nuts for dessert.

Back on the road - Dan, Cica, and I all slept part of the way home. It was a glorious day, and I'm sure we all slept well last night from the exercise and the (delightfully) fresh air. Three cheers for Cica and Boban for taking such good care of us.

Why I don't like to play scrabble with Dan

I was having a good game (for me). I was definitely on track to break 300. But I had to call "uncle."

Dan got not one (decides), not two (adjutant), but THREE (illness) bingos. It's just not sportsman-like.

Serb's Eye View

Viktor from Belgrade Blog posted an excellent answer to my often thought (but rarely vocalized for fear of being insensitive) question of what it was like during the bombings. Very informative for Americans who have not had to live through anything similar.

I don't care about politics.Unfortunately, politics care about me.

We were having coffee with friends after a jazz concert last night, and the conversation turned, as it almost always does, to politics. None of us (except Dan) actually like talking about politics, but it's something you just can't avoid. As our Serb friend put it, "I don't care about politics, but politics care about me."

In Serbia, what's going on with politics actually effects people's lives. The three major issues du jour are the status of Kosovo, the upcoming referendum for independence in Montenegro, and the extradition of Hague fugitives. How these issues are resolved will effect Serbs' ability to travel freely around the world (which they can't right now), future economic stability, and possible admission of Serbia into the EU. Among other things. So even though we don't really want to sit around talking about this stuff, it never fails to come up.

You know what? It's exhausting. It goes without saying that these are serious issues, the outcomes of which are beyond the control of the average Serb. It takes a lot of work to stay up to date on current events, and of course there are many opinions on what should happen in each circumstance.

I'm worn out from all this. In the States, it's nothing to go weeks or months without being aware of major events around the world. I'm sure that Americans are too isolated, but I'm looking forward to a solid month of blissful ignorance to world events when I get home. I know that, much like maple syrup, this is not a luxury available to my Serbian friends. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to take advantage of it.