I grew up in a family where, when going out to eat, the fight over who gets to pay the bill usually comes to fisticuffs. A prime example occurred when I was in high school. I was going on a school sponsored trip to England and I didn't have a ride to the airport, so a friend's parents gave me a lift. My mom met us there after she finished work, and we went to one of the airport restaurants for drinks. When the bill came, my mom and my friend's dad argued over who would pay. My mom said "Whoever has the most money in their wallet gets to pay." He agreed, so he took out his wallet and counted what he had. My mom had the trump card, though, because she worked at a private school and she had the tuition checks with her (they had already agreed that checks counted). Of course, even though she won fair and square (?) the dad snuck off and paid for everyone.
Here in Serbia, it's custom (a) for the man to pay or (b) if someone invites you out, they pay. I'm told that Rule A always overrides Rule B. Not surprisingly, this is something that I have a lot of trouble with.
I embarrassed myself and a friend the other night when we went out to dinner. We were at a fast food place, and as we got ready to leave I grabbed the bill and handed it to Dan. He obligingly took out his wallet to pay, and our friend looked a little surprised and then came right out and told me that it made him uncomfortable. Of course, that made me uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do. Dan saved the day, telling him that with friends we often take turns paying so we always have to go out again (this is absolutely true, he didn't just make it up to save my skin). Our friend thought this was a great idea, and emphasized more than once that next time it would be his turn. I'm glad it worked out ok, but it's really hard for me to let other people pay. I've been too well trained.
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4 comments:
Meaghan, I have the same issue! Even when people are expressly taking me out for my birthday, or whatever. I can imagine how uncomfortable it must be when mixed in with new (to you) cultural practices!
Jess
Hi Meghan. This is not a comment but an invitation to go snowboarding when you visit. I am changin my NH schedule so I will have Tuesday & Wednesday off for mid week trips. I am retiring from snowboard insructing to enjoy more for myself. See ya in December. Tom
Hey, forgot about that. That was very funny. Sometimes a little dispute over who is going to pay can be funny.
M
It depends. I have a friend who always insists to pay the bill, even up to 50 euros which is big money here. When there is no other way, he sneaks out to the barmen and pays before we are done.
On the other hand, I have friends that are poor (earning 300 dinars per day) for whom I always pay the bill. This can go under the rule B since usualy I invite them for a drink.
As for the gang from chess club "Radnicki" we usualy drink alot and share the bill.
I hope you feel good in Serbia :-)
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